So, this post is mostly for me to get my fears out there instead of holding them in. So like the title says, I do not want to go home for the summer (home being Fort Worth). There are several reasons for this.
1) My family members know I'm Sikh now...well, except for one generation. I have not and will not be telling any of my older family members (especially my grandparents) about my religious conversion. I think that would be straight up cruel to do to old folks. They are already in their 70s and 80s, and they don't need to die worrying about me. So why does this matter? This means that I still have to hide some of my Sikhness (lol), at least when I'm around them. And for someone who has been very outwardly Sikh (mostly talking about my dastar here), this makes me sad/irritated. It's a sacrifice I don't want to make, but I have to compromise.
2) Every time I go home I get the same question from family members. "So, when are you going to get your hair fixed?" I'm actually going to type a separate blog post about the history of my hair but not today. So anyway, here's the thing. My whole life I've gone to the beauty shop (what AA people call the hair salon) and gotten my hair done. There have been times where I've just kept my hair up in a bun for a long time (like now), but I would always end up going back to the beauty shop to get it done. But you see, if I go now, there is a 70% chance my hair will be trimmed or cut. And before, that was sort of a no-no, but now for me, that's a big NO. "But Gurpreet, why don't you just tell your hair stylist not to cut your hair." Good question. One, hair stylists (at least African American ones) are firm believers in cutting your ends every 6-8 weeks. And you can argue with them all you want, but they'll win eventually. And two, some hair stylists get jealous. They will let their jealousy get in the way and cut 2-3 inches off your hair. I'm not joking and this has happened to me in the past twice. And it's happened to others I know. So how do I explain to the older people and my extended family members that I won't be ever going back to the beauty shop ever again? 🙃🙃
3) Fort Worth and Austin are two very different cities (at least when it comes to attitude and thoughts). Austin is a liberal, open-minded city where the majority are tolerant and supportive of each other. Fort Worth, on the other hand, is a conservative, Christian city just like the majority of cities in the Bible Belt. Still got that southern hospitality, but very closed minded. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Fort Worth. But I don't know how I'm going to transition back into being a Christian environment. Being a non-Christian in the Bible Belt is HARD. Being a non-Christian in a Christian family is hard. I don't feel like being preached at or harassed while home this summer. Hell, I've had people try to harass me here from back home in Ft. Worth. All I want is for people to respect my beliefs the same way I respect theirs. Will that happen...maybe. But how should I act when I am harassed or preached at? Unfortunately, I already had to break off a friendship with a lady I knew for years because she admitted she would keep evangelizing to me/harassing me tell I turn back. Just a newsflash, Jesus would not have supported that.
4) Ah, freedom. Freedom to go all over Austin (and even Texas) without someone on your back wondering where you are. Well, that's fixing to change. When I'm home, my dad doesn't really care where I go, as long as I tell him I'm going. On the other hand, my mom wants to know the 5 Ws (Who, What, When, Where, Why). I understand that as a mother it's her duty to do this. But having to go through this again is going to be hard. And for some reason, my grandfather has even started this 🤣.
Basically, getting through this summer at home will be hard. Every chance I get, I'm leaving Fort Worth lol (or at least, staying away from the home). And thankfully, I will be staying in Austin next summer. Untell then, I need a strategy. And honestly, I got nothing. As always, forgive me for my bad grammar. I talk very informally on my blog lol.
Update (7/21/2018): My most popular blog post to today. And for those wondering, yes, I came home. And I will be making a post about it in August.